F.C. Arouca 0 Sporting CP 3

F.C. Arouca v Sporting CP

Sunday March 10th, 2024 
Estádio Municipal de Arouca
Matchday 24 

The Warm Up

Sporting face an Arouca side who come into tonight’s game off the back of a week’s rest and a 5-1 away win to Chaves – so no pressure then gentlemen. Sporting in comparison have played three times in that same period. In life mo money = mo problems so I guess in football mo success = mo fixtures. Mo fixtures unsurprisingly bring mo injuries and I’m going to stop saying mo in a mo.

Arouca are on a rich vein of form with six wins in the last seven including a 3-2 home win to Porto. Oddly in a moment of sheer boredom I watched the last 25 minutes of the 5-1 win and had I not known the score, based on what I saw I’d say that Chaves were the better side but when you’re four goals to the good maybe a little unsurprisingly you can afford to sit back and defend. It’s also fair to suggest the Chaves keeper Nogueìra had a complete mare in between the pos’s as his match rating of 3.5 will testify and his performance will have skewed the final scoreline somewhat in the favour of Arouca.

The first game head to head finished 2-1 with Sporting reduced to ten men on 42 minutes following the dismissal of Diomande for a second yellow for which I’m expecting Trezza to appear at the forthcoming Oscars with a best actor nomination. The last time I saw someone go down like that was Sergeant Elias in the Vietnam war classic Platoon. The game as a spectacle was ruined by the referee without a shadow of a doubt. One of those – how much TV time can I get so I can wank myself silly over the highlights. If by some weird coincidence Antonio Nobre is reading this then yes I’m talking about you. That’s the literal definition of what makes someone a tosser.

Nuno Almeida we implore you to let the game flow on Sunday.

Arouca’s home games have seen 39 goals in the 12 games played. Sporting away have seen 41 goals in 11 games. Throw Israel continuing to deputise in goal and his inability to keep clean sheets and we look on paper like this game should be an entertaining goal fest. With 11 games remaining and the lead at the top of the table a slender point it’s critical more than ever to come away with another 3 points. The neighbours will have been rocked by their recent results with a 2-1 Dérbi defeat, 5-0 Clássico defeat and 2-2 draw at home to Glasgow Rangers and fingers, eyes, arms and legs will be crossed Estoril can come away with something in the late kick off. The closer we get to the end of the season the more pressure will be applied if they start a game four points behind rather than just the one. Any slip up however will certainly give them more incentive.

The money markets

Arouca 7/1= 12.5% portability chance of winning
Sporting CP 2/5 = 71.43% probability chance of winning
Sporting CP win with both to score 15/8 = 34.78% probability chance based on odds conversion. I would price this more around 3/5 so value to be had

Team News

As you were in goal, across the back three and three of the four in midfield, the one changes sees Hjulmand come in for Koindredi. Two changes in the forward line as Gyökeres returns for Paulinho and a fit again Gonçalves replaces Edwards.

First Half

14 It’s a long time since I had to watch the game on a dodgy feed. The other week we were treated to 8 minutes of Benfica TV and tonight they’re not bothering to broadcast it at all.

19 GOAL Arouca 0 Sporting CP 1 Gyökeres makes it 1-0 with the easiest of tap-ins from a Reis cross on the left into the six yard box. He won’t score an easier goal than that all season

28 Gyökeres fires in from a narrow angle but the keeper stood his ground. Geny fires a second attempt disappointingly over from range

33 Smart save from Israel at full stretch keeps the game level as Sylla was left unmarked on the left to run on and get a shot away. For all Geny brings going forward he needs to start to do the hard yards tracking back that Esgaio does. Mind you where Quaresma was during all that is also up for debate.

43 Fucking brilliant for some reason the feed I’d been watching was ten minutes behind and suddenly jumps those ten minutes. Modern piracy at its worst. Didn’t want to watch this game anyway. You can bet your bollocks to a barn door if it was the neighbours game they’d have fixed the issue. 

Plus one indicated

Half time

Arouca 0 Sporting CP 1

Well I’d like to tell you all about that first half but in truth I really can’t. How utterly fucking frustrating. On a pitch only slightly better than a ploughed field in wet weather conditions Sporting won’t complain going in a goal to the good. Missed the first 12 trying to find a hooky feed. Lost the ten minutes when it jumped from 33 to 43. Did I really use to try watch games like this every week? I think I did you know. Looks like a change is coming as Inácio sits with coach Amorim on the bench presumably not looking through holiday photos but at tactics on an iPad.

Second half

Big 45 minutes in the season awaits the Sporting players. There can be no mistakes this half. Amorim is already pacing the touchline like an expectant father in the 1970s. Inácio replaces Quaresma. Presumably that means a shuffle of positions at the back

48 Gyökeres races through on goal but his effort is well saved again from 8 yards out

56 Trincão felled on the edge of the D does a sensational impression of the cover of Platoon as I had ironically mentioned in my warmup.

61 Gonçalves swipes at a chance from the right as he was losing his balance and it ended up like one of my golf shots slicing well wide of its intended target

62 Israel down smartly to save from Mujica. I don’t want to jinx it but so far he’s having a good night. Well as much as I can tell on a screen 1.5” by 2.5” and a feed buffering or interrupted by adverts for fucking cat videos.

66 St Juste replaces Coates and Paulinho comes on for Trincão

69 Gyökeres beats the offside trap as Arouca defend with the most ridiculous high line. Fails to take his chance though as the defender just got back to do enough

72 Mix up at the back as Israel came for the ball and St Juste clears for a throw. Not sure what happened there but the Dutchman really didn’t look impressed. Think there will be a few words in the dressing room after the final whistle

75 Bragança replaces Morita. These substitutions have a feel about Thursday night’s game about them with the second leg against Atalanta on the horizon

78 Santos yanks down Gyökeres. How that’s not a yellow I’ll never know. Referee in the first game gave everything even when not a foul and this one nothing. Complete polar opposites

79 Paulinho gets caught on the boot and says this one is for you Diomande my brother as you’d think he’d stepped on a landmine by his over the top reaction. There will be competition in the Oscars best acting category after all. Simao shown the yellow. Don’t get me wrong he caught him late but his reaction was fucking embarrassing and the usual shit housery from him. I’d be fucking pissed as an Arouca fan watching on

83 Galovic wrestles Gyökeres to the ground and is shown a yellow. This pitch resembles that of a rugby pitch now so it’s easy to get your sports mixed up I guess

86 Mix up between two Arouca forwards sees the ball go out for a goal kick to Sporting. The quality of the game mirrors the quality of what I’m able to view it on

88 Gyökeres buildup play tonight has been sensational at times dragging his defenders left and right but his finishing has just been off – tap in excluded

89 Santos comes on for Gonçalves

90 Shout out to the poor ground staff who are going to be here all night putting those divots back 

Plus six indicated

+1 GOAL l Geny Catamo take a fucking bow son. Arouca 0 Sporting CP 2 and finally if there were any doubts it is now game over. Picks the ball up on the half way line, jinxes past one, two defenders and pings the ball past the keeper to ensure all three points for Sporting. I was bemoaning his lack of defensive guile tracking back but that’s what the youngster brings to the team in an attacking sense. He doesn’t always get it right with his shooting but when he does they go in like a rocket

+4 Quaresma shanks one of the worst shots of the season wide from range for Arouca. He’ll not want to be shown that effort post training in the morning

+6 GOAL Hjulmand chips the ball over the onrushing keeper to make it Arouca 0 Sporting CP 3. Gyökeres with the assist.

Just time to kick off again before the final whistle blows

Full time

Arouca 0 Sporting CP 3

The Final Word

The score line in the history books will show a 3-0 win but in truth it’ll be a flattering one with the two goals coming in additional time. That’s not to say Sporting didn’t deserve all 3 points I hasten to add. I think I deserve a medal for watching a game in silence on a screen 1.5” by 2.5” whilst desperately trying to close tabs blocking the action. Thankfully I saw most of the second half but I’m not sure how. As mentioned above Gyökeres looked unplayable at times tonight but his final efforts just let him down but it’s hard to choose a performance that came close to his in a green and white shirt so he gets my man of the match award. Israel had for me his best performance in a Sporting shirt but the mix up with St Juste second half shows he still has an awful long way to convince me of his abilities. Given he’s now 23 I don’t think you’ll ever convince me he’s got enough to claim the number one spot on a full time basis. If he does then Lord help us in season’s to come.

Most importantly for now we go four points clear with the neighbours kicking off against Estoril in about twenty minutes time and I’ll all but fucking guarantee any cunts wanting to watch that game in the UK will be able to without any fucking issues. Yes I’m an angry old man but I’ve earned the right. Sporting face Atalanta on Thursday who played Juventus away today. They were 1-0 up at half time but eventually had to come from 2-1 down to secure a point with the game finishing 2-2.