FC Porto 2 Sporting CP 2

FC Porto v Sporting CP
April 28^th, 2024

Estádio do Dragão

Matchday 31

The Warm Up 

Ahead of the Clássico all the headlines have been on Ruben Amorim and his round trip to Londarn Taan to visit the Russian hat wearing midget more commonly known as David Sullivan, also monikered by BdC as the now sole remaining half of the dildo brothers. José Mourinho was the original master at the post game comment to the press that ensured everyone was watching the left hand and not focusing on the right. Maybe the mister is trying his hand at one upmanship in this modern social media driven world where you can’t fart without the world needing to speculate what you had for dinner the night before to make it smell that way. What we do know for certain is that he won't be going to Barca in the summer or to Merseyside either though I suspect his wife may have had more to do with that decision. Thierry what’s the French for ‘I’m not living in that fucking shit hole?’ To everyone writing articles on the players he’d bring with him from Sporting have you left them up or hastily hit delete, delete, delete? Forgive me for being under the impression FSG are tighter than a duck’s arse when it comes to spending money so the assumption had to have been for that to be true Salah is off come the summer. Heard it from a bloke who knows a bloke so it must be true. Anyway if by some X Files type twist I’m right and it was a ploy to take the heat out of the buildup to the Clássico on his squad then it has worked.

Let’s instead focus on the game at hand. Despite briefly going ten points clear and Farense scoring an equaliser against the pigeons on Monday night which seemed to defy physics to make it 1-1, we’re now back to a seven point gap at the top needing two wins from the final four.* This isn’t a sine qua non. If the Gods of football offered a point prior to kick off or take your chances I think most would snatch their hand off for the point and say Happy Days. Offered three points and you be going Happy Easter, Happy Birthday, Happy Mother’s day, Happy Christmas and Happy fucking Hanukkah all rolled into one meaning the title could be potentially settled the following weekend. If you’re looking for omens the last title win came when Inter won their last Serie A title and they wrapped that up Monday night. Me, clutching at straws? Never!

Porto come into the game with one win in four in the league having lost away to Estoril and home to Sporting’s last opponents Vitória. In playground maths that means Sporting will win 5-1 and what a Clássico that would be. However look at the three league games prior to the Estoril defeat and you’ve wins totalling a 3-1, 3-0 and the infamous 5-0 drubbing of the pigeons so no one is underestimating the opponents, it’s more a case of not knowing which version of Porto will turn up. Prior to the weekend they’re level on points with Braga but currently occupy the 3rd position for Europa League qualification whereas 4th carries Conference League and no one really wants that pressure for little financial reward especially when we all know that Porto are really in the shit debt wise. Braga of course take on the pigeons in their last real test before the season finishes.

There was talk in the Portuguese press of Amorim being offered assurances that Gyökeres, Hjulmand and Inácio wouldn’t be sold in the summer. I’d love to have been a fly on the wall of Gyökeres’ agent when that story broke. From that you could guess that means Diomande would be set to depart and you wouldn’t begrudge the youngster a move any more than you could with Nuno Mendes when he departed for PSG. Even if their time with the club is brief they’ve both provided valuable contributions to potentially two title winning seasons. Given Edwards lack of game time if I was a betting man my money would be on him to be moving on and there’s definitely been firm interest in Trincão which would be a shame just as he seems to have found his confidence and stride. If we can recoup the money paid for St Juste you'd wish him well noting if he could remain injury free he'd be the one to take over Coates mantle as leader of this side yet he doesn't seem to be able to catch a break. That being said it’s all guess work and speculation and I don’t think Amorim really knows his short term plans. Alonso knows he has something special at Bayer, Inzaghi does at Inter so you’d hope Amorim thinks the same with Sporting. Champions League football is around the corner and West Ham are unlikely to even offer any type of European competition next season by way of comparison. Sullivan is a tight fisted poisonous little twat who wouldn’t pay a release clause. It went under the radar that during his first spell Moyes was being paid ten grand a week. Massive for you and me but peanuts compared to what other managers were earning in the Premier League. I’m sure he likes to think he's a brilliant businessman but he's a fucking clown who brought shit property in Soho for tuppence ha’penny which the value of went through the roof through regeneration of the area. That’s happening to be in the right place at the right time. That’s a coincidence. Ten minutes in his company and you’d be thinking fuck me what times the flight back to Lisboa? If he’d been born in the last 30 years taking him into the modern era of free online porn he’d have ended up selling flowers from a market stall. You don’t want to work for that incompetent little prick. Sorry I’ll let it go now. Cue the music from Frozen somebody. Oh and as for Chelsea now more commonly known as Babyshambles FC ...

The money markets

Porto 13/8 = 38.1% probability chance of winning
Draw 23/10 = 30.30% probability
Sporting 17/10 = 37.04% probability chance of winning
Sporting win and BTS 15/4 = 21.05% probability
Sporting to win the title 1/40 = 97.56% probability 

* Correction since original post Braga that club I loathe so much managed to spunk a goal lead to the pigeons and lose 3-1 meaning that Sporting go into the Clássico with a 4 point lead.

Pre game statistics

Porto by the metric of goals conceded have the best defence in the league conceding just 24 times, only 10 of which have come at home. They have kept clean sheets on 7 occasions. 

Amorim is yet to win a league game at the Dragão.

Sporting’s last win at the Dragão came in April 2016 with a 3-1 scoreline. A brace for Slimani and the third from Bruno César. That season also saw Sporting complete the double winning 2-0 in the January again with a brace from Slimani.

Sporting won this season’s previous fixture 2-0 with goals either side of half time from Gyökeres and Gonçalves.

Team News

Adán and Reis remain on the treatment table. Going into the weekend there was a question mark over the fitness of 24 goal top scorer Gyökeres. Regular readers will remember I’ve been questioning the reasons first for his recent tail off in form and whether it was physical or mental and in addition the perceived wisdom of Amorim not to give him some form of rest at a point where every other player in the squad was being afforded rest. He travels with the squad but is only named amongst the substitutes as Paulinho takes his place. In midfield as you were other than Inácio filling in for Nuno Santos a position he’s only ever played in once before at senior level though from memory he did quite well. With him moving forward Diomande comes in on the left of the three. For Porto Diogo Costa returns in goal.

First Half

I have a bad feeling about this game and that it might provide the full stop to a somewhat chaotic week off the field. I switched onto the Sporting B game this afternoon away to Pero Pinheiro in the second half only to see them concede within two minutes of me tuning in from a ferocious strike outside of the box from Luis Pinheiro and then miss a penalty. If you’d asked me who or what Pero Pinheiro was 24 hours ago I would have guessed a cartoon character; the Portuguese equivalent of Speedy Gonzalez with a little mouse taking on all comers and Luis Pinheiro as his trusty side kick. I’d have been spectacularly wrong so let’s hope I am with my feelings prior to kick off in regards to the Clássico.

7 Evanilson shoots from 27 yards but his effort is saved low to the left by Israel

8 GOAL Porto 1 Sporting CP 0 I said I had a bad feeling about this game all day. This time Evanilson finds the back of the net as he calmly lifts the ball over the outstretched Israel

15 Paulinho with a glancing header from a Gonçalves corner on the edge of the 6 yard box goes over the bar

20 Sporting are playing with the air of a nervous teenager about to pop their cherry and trying to slip a condom on. It’s fumbling around and hoping for the best. Contact in the box from Diomande on Evanilson as Porto appeal for a penalty. Referee was quick to wave it away. The play acting in this league is getting worse with every week that goes by.

34 Evanilson runs in between St Juste and Coates like they’re not even there but can only fire into the side netting from a tight angle.

35 Evanilson goes down clutching his face again from the minimum of touches from Diomande. Fucking book him for simulation

38 Gonçalves strikes from the edge of the D with an effort that sums up the first half from Sporting perfectly – dog shit

40 GOAL Porto 2 Sporting CP 0 as Pepe fires home again from close range. No not Pepé le Pew, the one Gyökeres likes on his toast but the other one. Un-fucking-believable. Not sure what was worse the defending that left him unmarked or Israel getting nowhere near it as it passed his dive into the back of the net

43 Shot on target from outside the box by Trincão but no pace and straight at the keeper

44 Israel keeps the score at 2-0 with a save low from close range from Conceição. Ball rebounds to him but he can only find the side netting. Should have been 3-0.

Plus two shown and half time cannot come quick enough

+2 St Juste shown the yellow for a foul off the ball on Gelson

Half time

Porto 2 Sporting CP 0

That is as bad a first half performance as I can remember under Amorim’s reign. In fact it might rank as the worst. One sided doesn’t do Porto justice. They’ve been rampant and Sporting have had no answer.

Defensively they’ve been at sea. From an attacking sense they’ve offered little or nothing. If you pointed a gun at my head and told me to name the best Sporting player in the opening 45 you’d have to shoot me because they’ve been awful in all departments. They’re like the wife that’s found out their husband has been flirting with his secretary and rightly acting up.

Listen, everyone makes mistakes. It’s the reason they put erasers on the end of pencils. But Amorim is going to need the mother of all team talks at half time. Sporting will be lucky if they come away with a 4-0 spanking if they don’t pick themselves up.

Second half

No surprise to see Gyökeres go through his paces at half time. If ever they’ve needed him this season it’s now. I was going to say they can’t play any worse but that’s probably asking for trouble.

46 Gyökeres on for Bragança. Porto get the half underway. St Juste leaves one on Galeno and is lucky not to pick up a second yellow. He can’t afford to miss time another challenge this half his cards are well and truly marked

48 Quaresma comes to the sidelines. Amorim clearly knows Sporting are lucky to have ten men still on the pitch

49 St Juste replaced by Quaresma

50 Conceição allowed time and space to fire in another shot from 17 yards saved by Israel. They’ve not learned their lesson from the opening 45

57 Gyökeres has done more in 12 minutes than his team mates combined over the 647 they’ve committed to the game so far. He’s lifted Sporting but they still need a miracle to get anything out of this game. At the moment it’s simply about ensuring the scoreline at least remains respectable

60 Nuno Santos replaces Diomande so presumably Inácio drops back into defence

62 For the first time tonight we see Sporting in the ascendency putting Porto onto the back foot. Get the one goal and you can always get a second

63 Nico fouls Geny wide right. Free kick headed behind by Pepe for a corner

67 Free kick conceded by Inácio centrally just shy of 30 yards out. Strikes the wall wrong footing Israel whose left scrambling as the ball goes out for a corner

69 Gonçalves connects well with a low drive from 20 yards but Costa was equal to the effort. Better from Sporting with every minute that passes but still no end product

70 Fernandes accidentally smashes Nuno Santos into the electronic hoardings behind the goal. That looks nasty. Thankfully after treatment he is back on his feet

73 Sporting need to make all this pressure count but Porto remember have conceded just ten at home all season and you can see why – they’re holding steadfast

75 Wendell clears out Gonçalves and shown the yellow

80 Sporting at least look like a teenager capable of unhooking a bra in the second half. Still nothing to suggest they’ll find that moment of magic though. This game reminds me of the first of the four against Atalanta where they’d done what they needed to do in the opening 45 and could afford to sit back and soak up the pressure

83 Edwards being given his final instructions. Take your pick on who he replaces; Paulinho, Trincão, Geny… none of them have covered themselves in glory

85 Wow shakes head in disbelief as Edwards comes on for ... Gonçalves

87 GOAL Porto 2 Sporting CP 1 Inch perfect cross floated in from the left by Nuno Santos. My screen froze just as Gyökeres was about the head the ball. Finally it unlocks and bang back of the net

88 GOAL Oh my fucking god. Oh fucking hell, fucking yes, yes, yes, yes fuck me yes fucking yes Porto 2 Sporting CP 2. Gyökeres taps home from Edwards cross. Am I dreaming? What are we witnessing here? I said we needed a miracle. Someone has sacrificed their first born to the Gods of football to make this happen

89 Edwards goes from hero to villain as he is shown a red card for his reaction to Galeno holding his shirt. He shoves him, Galeno leans in with his head and he makes the tiniest of contact with his face and he goes down like a sack of fucking shit. What a dick cunt move. Fucking arsehole. Edwards rightly upset as he is ushered down the tunnel. **

Plus five shown

Can Sporting see out the remaining five with just ten men. My heart is pounding

+1 Yellow to Hjulmand. They’ll rotate their fouls for the next three minutes if they have any sense

+3 I can barely watch as Sporting defending deep

+4 Shot of Villas-Boas in the stands deep in thought probably thinking fuck me I’ve got a job on my hands here

Full time

Porto 2 Sporting CP 2

The Final Word

Well I did say it, if you can get one you can get 2. I wasn’t convinced we’d even get the one to be fair but wow. Dickens wrote the tale of two cities and this is surely the tale of two halves. If the first half was a measure of 11 men with the hump with their coach then this second 45 was the ultimate ode of love. Porto have taken a leaf out of AC Milano’s book trying to drown out the Sporting fans on the stadium PA with music who are chanting the name of Gyökeres from their position in the upper tier. Well I’d expect nothing less than pettiness and childishness from a side who have just spectacularly capitulated in the same way Sporting did in the Dérbi de Lisboa earlier on in the season. If ever a point felt like a win then this was it. I’ve no idea how I’ll sleep tonight I’m literally bouncing off the walls. Please tell me I didn’t dream that. You can only soundtrack that last five minutes with I believe in miracles, since you came along you sexy thing.

The title isn't won yet but if and when we do then all the plaudits will go to Gyökeres. My man of the match again he will surely end the season as the league’s top goal scorer and the accolade of the best player in Portugal. This was 45 minutes for the ages in which he has dragged Sporting to a point despite not being fully fit. That blows my tiny little mind. Had he played the full 90 we’d be looking at winning the title next round. That is as good a performance as I can remember from an individual in a Sporting shirt. The assists from Nuno Santos and Edwards were inch perfect and oddly the sending off might come as a blessing come the cup final because the Englishman will be pumped to get one over on them. When I say inch perfect the pass from Edwards it goes through the legs of two defenders – double nutmeg and passes the outstretched legs of another two defenders for Gyökeres to tap home at the far post. That’s the sort of gut punch goal we always seem to concede but never score. I wrote a few weeks back about the invisible hand guiding us on. The lead was ten points, it’s now down to five but crucially we’ve two home games out of the remaining three and we’re yet to drop a point at home. The neighbours know they need to win their remaining three and hope for a miracle of epic proportions that we witnessed in the final couple of minutes tonight.

Sporting allezzzzz…. I’ve got tingles running down my spine and all the hairs are stood up on my arms and neck.

** Since my original final posting I note that Galeno was booked in addition to Edwards sending off though I’m still somewhat bemused by it all and how the minimal contact of his hand warranted a sending off and yet Galeno leaning in with his head didn’t warrant the same offence. As for his reaction it reminded me of Rivaldo for Brazil at the World cup trying to get a Turkey player sent off. Embarrassing doesn’t do it justice. In one of the dérbi’s we saw Di María do exactly the same thing on Gonçalves. He wasn’t even booked.

I also failed in my excited state post final whistle to really acknowledge that St Juste should have been sent off and the impact that would have had but listen two wrongs don’t make a right.